Awareness + Intention + Action

We do a lot of talk about triggers over here. And, the framework we use to deal with triggers = awareness, intention, & action.

Stay with me.

I had a thought, or I suppose it was a realization, this morning: just because I suddenly figure out something that triggers me, and I voice that to…say…Ben, that doesn’t automatically free me from ownership of that “thing”.

AWARENESS. Awareness is huge, because without it we’re just pissed. We’re annoyed with people using screens in our presence. We’re aggravated with people that passive aggressively judge your relationship with your husband or the way you parent. And, we can’t deal with people that complain about the weather, their family, or the workout that “sucked”…right before you’re about to do the same workout.

Or, honestly, the phrases “that sucked”, “this sucks”, or “this is gonna’ suck” are all high on my list of phrases that trigger me. Just in case your’e about to use any of those in my presence.

When we can identify with our own awareness of what our own triggers are…BEAUTIFUL. That’s great. But, that’s not even close to the end of this thing.

Sharing that awareness with the people close to you and the people that happen to be triggering you is a lot easier than it sounds. But, is a big part of the work that has to be done.

INTENTION. Stopping there would be tragic. Because knowing what gives you that gross feeling in your body and not doing anything about it, in my opinion, would be torture.

But, intention is your strategy, your game plan, on how you’re going to free yourself from this repetitive cycle. Without it, you’re a prisoner to the triggers, to the awareness of those triggers, and to the acceptance that you will never be freed from any of this.

Yes, part of the intention that could evolve out of all of this glorious awareness is Ben being more sensitive to me and whatever it is that triggers me. But, even more impactful than that is me taking ownership and, ultimately, control over my response to external factors (which I don’t actually have control over, anyways) by not letting that “thing” trigger me as much.

Just because something in my past affected me in some negative way, doesn’t necessarily validate me hanging onto that sensitivity indefinitely.

There’s just no growth in that.

ACTION. But, if I can take that awareness and act on it by DOING something about it and using it to develop a plan for the next time I’m triggered by “that thing” again, I can then start the process of trimming down the time that I’m triggered by things.

Because, in all honesty, I don’t know if I’ll ever not be triggered by things. Will I ever be ok with negativity? Will I ever feel fine with people that can’t stop talking about themselves? And, will I ever enjoy the sound of any version of the phrase “that sucked”?

Probably not.

All I am realistically reaching for is trimming down the time between when a trigger happens, and when I am able to rebound by putting my “plan” into action.

The shorter that time period gets, the less time I’m annoyed, frustrated, or resenting someone or something. And, the less time I spend in those emotional places, the more time I can spend in joy, gratitude, and overall love of life.